Unbelieveably unpuritanical but factual. Here's the first sentence of the conclusion of a study of 617k participants, published in our leading medical journal, and written in (of course) the driest possible prose:
In this large, prospective U.S. cohort study, we observed a dose-dependent inverse association between coffee drinking and total mortality, after adjusting for potential confounders (smoking status in particular). As compared with men who did not drink coffee, men who drank 6 or more cups of coffee per day had a 10% lower risk of death, whereas women in this category of consumption had a 15% lower risk.
Coffee drinkers have already built a vast global infrastructure to support their habit, so the study will change nothing -- except maybe the guilt.
Knowing Americans, that's a big maybe.